


Christmas In Mihama

by whoneedsapublisher



Category: The Fruit of Grisaia
Genre: Gen, In order to fit the style of the game's dialogue and narration, In that I shifted some dates around for the story to work properly, Minorly AU, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:02:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24393232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whoneedsapublisher/pseuds/whoneedsapublisher
Summary: It's Christmas at Mihama Academy. A celebration is planned; Amane pulls the strings.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Christmas In Mihama

Since coming to Mihama Academy, I’ve shifted my operating parameters somewhat. Slowly, gradually, I’ve started to truly internalize the notion that no one here is trying to kill me. Not even Yumiko.

Probably.

As such, I’ve started to relax my sense for something being “off”. I can’t completely turn it off- and I wouldn’t want to anyway- but I no longer get tense at the slightest change in my environment. Normal little changes are just that- normal. No need to fuss over them.

This, however, qualifies as outside of that newfound band of tolerance.

Yuuji: Mind explaining just what the hell you think you’re doing, woman…?

Amane jumps, startled by me speaking. I didn’t exactly put much effort into concealing my presence… was she that absorbed in her “work” that she didn’t hear me coming?

Amane: Ah! Yuuji! Jeez. you’re always sneaking up on me like that.

Yuuji: Amane, my friend, you seem to be rather confused about the meaning of that word.

Amane: What?

Yuuji: “Sneaking” is when you attempt to get close to someone without alerting them. When you walk into your own room without making a ton of noise, that’s what’s called “consideration”.

Yuuji: So what the hell is all this? Decided you wanna marry Sakaki before the two of you screw, and figured my bedroom was the best place to hold the ceremony? 

Yuuji: Not that I have anything against your sapphic passion, but I didn’t figure you for the type to be prudish about sampling the goods before making that kind of commitment. Especially for a marriage that won’t be on the family register anyway.

Yuuji: Also, weddings on Christmas _sound_ romantic, but in my experience, that kind of thing ends up just being an excuse to celebrate Christmas and your anniversary on the same day.

Amane let out a sigh with a slightly disbelieving look on her face.

Amane: Uh, “sapphic passion”?

Amane: I’m not interested in Yumiko in that kind of way, thank you very much. And these aren’t wedding decorations.

Yuuji: Oh? Enlighten me, then. What are they? And why are they in my room?

The mysterious objects in questions currently consist of a few streamer looking ribbons and a collection of balloons, but the boxes and face down banner around the room imply this is merely the vanguard of a more

Amane: Well… they’re decorations. Christmas decorations.

Yuuji: So, we’ve come upon a holiday, and now you’ve got it in your head to “celebrate”, huh?

Amane: Well, obviously! Come on, it’s Christmas! We have to have a party!

Yuuji: In my room?

Amane: Well, you’re still the newest student, you know? We were planning to surprise you with a party when you got back as sort of a welcome thing…

It’s been month since I started attending, but I suppose that given the amount of time it took for everyone to warm up to me - mostly Makina and Yumiko - there never really was much in the way of a formal welcome. Combining it with the nearest holiday makes a certain kind of sense.

There is, however, a glaring flaw in Amane’s plan.

Yuuji: In the “surprise party” scenario, isn’t it customary to distract the victim while you set things up? Or were you just hoping I wouldn’t happen to visit my room at any point today?

Amane sighs.

Amane: Makina and Michiru were _supposed_ to find you and keep you busy for a few hours...

Yuuji: Trusting those two was your first mistake.

Amane shrugs helplessly.

Amane: There was no one else. I needed Sacchan to pick up a few items in town, and Yumiko is helping to arrange things as well.

Yuuji: Hrm…

I don’t know if I like the sound of “arranging” things. In my line of work, I’ve “arranged” a lot of things, and when that sort of talk comes up, it’s usually an indication that someone’s about to find out that whatever clever plan they had is going to end up with them taking a bullet in the brain.

Still, as much as I’m suddenly feeling an urge to hit the floor and avoid windows, I’m forced to admit that it’s pretty unlikely that Yumiko has taken up a sniping position on the hill overlooking the school.

Amane: Anyway, now you know, so shoo!

“Shoo”? What am I, an alleycat that’s sniffing around her back door?

Yuuji: This _is_ my room, you know…

Amane: Oh come on, are you really complaining about that at this point? If you need something, I’ll bring it to you. Go amuse yourself for an hour or two.

With that, I’m pushed out into the hallway, and my own door is slammed in my face.

I’m tempted to march right back in there, pick Amane up by the scruff of her neck, and re-educate her on who gets to throw who out of my room, but I decide that opposing this is likely to be more trouble than it’s worth. Despite Makina and Michiru’s subpar contributions, it seems like all five of the other members of the dorm are united in this plan to celebrate. Chasing away Amane isn’t likely to shut down the situation, and having her whine at me would be a pain in the ass. Might as well just go along with things at this point.

Michiru: Ah! Yuuji!

Michiru rounds a corner at points at me dramatically. I half expect her head to loll back and for her to let out a screech to alert the others that she’s found someone who’s yet to be replaced.

Michiru: You can’t go to your room yet!

Ah. It seems that, as belated as it is, Michiru is attempting to complete her part of this plan.

Yuuji: That so? Wanna explain why, punk?

Michiru: Eh?

Michiru looks startled. Was she expecting me to just play along with such a patently unreasonable order without even being given a reason…?

Michiru: Err… Because… um…

Not only did the girl fail to find me in time to stop me walking in on Amane, now that she has found me, she can’t get past the very first hurdle of actually stopping me. Truly, if there’s a more useless human being, I have yet to find them.

Michiru: Makina!

Yuuji: What about her?

Michiru: She said she needed to see you! As soon as possible!

And so, with little wits she had exhausted, Michiru turns instead to passing off the job onto her partner in crime. I momentarily entertain the notion of saying that I’ll go see Makina after I get something from my room, but I decide that, in the spirit of generosity that my days in America taught me to associate with Christmas, I’ll let Michiru have this one.

Yuuji: Fine. Any idea where she is?

Michiru: Ah, er, she’s… in town!

Hm. A risky gambit, considering how obviously untrue it is - not helped by Michiru’s refusal to meet my eyes, her embarrassed half-smile, and the beads of sweat on her forehead - but not entirely the worst tactic to adopt. Assuming she could convince me to go along with this farce, even when it became clear that Makina wasn’t in town, the walk there and subsequent search would delay me long enough to buy Amane quite a lot of time.

Unfortunately, even if I am willing to play along with her and let her pull me away from my room to give Amane some time, I have no intention of letting Michiru think I’m going to fall for such a blatantly obvious tactic.

Yuuji: I’ll talk to her when she gets back, then.

I reach for the doorknob and Michiru panics.

Michiru: Ah! Uh, I mean, she _was_ in town! Until just a little while ago!

Yuuji: ...I’m pretty sure I didn’t ask where she was before.

Michiru: Anyway! Right now, she’s um, out in the garden! Probably! You should go see her!

Yuuji: …

This probably isn’t going to get any more convincing any time soon. Trying to play along with her until she comes up with something convincing seems as likely to bear fruit as asking an American senator to explain why, exactly, the district they’re from seems to be the shape of a child’s scribble and doesn’t happen to include any inconvenient neighbourhoods that might upset their snug little majority. All I’m going to get is “um”s and “ah”s.

If I just go to the garden, I’m sure Michiru will have emailed Makina to meet me there. I _could_ point out that it’s suspicious that Makina didn’t bother to email me herself, but I suppose I’ll file this little ommission away as part of Michiru’s Christmas gift.

Yuuji: Fine. See you later, then.

As I walk away, I hear Michiru heave a sigh of relief. I’m having to not notice an awful lot right now. Not that it’s anything new. As a “dog”, I’m expected not to know more than I should about what my “master” is up to. Ichigaya makes sure to divide its missions to stop any particular agent from seeing too much of the bigger picture, but even if I happen to get assigned to one too many related jobs, I’m expected not to connect any dots that might be inconvenient.

I head down to the gardens at a leisurely pace, making sure Makina has plenty of time to beat me there so that I can “find” her.

When I arrive, I see Makina standing by the tree, glancing around. As soon as she spots me, she hurries over.

Makina: Ah! Onii-chan! Just th’ man I was lookin’ fer!

Yuuji: Yeah, Michiru told me as much. What’s the deal?

I have to admit, I’m slightly curious if Makina is going to be able to come up with something more plausible than Michiru.

Makina leans in, speaking in a needlessly conspiratorial way, an exaggerated “whisper” that probably carries just as far as talking normally.

Makina: Well, you see, it’s somethin’ of a sensitive issue.

Pulling back suddenly and putting her hands on her hips, Makina proudly sounds off.

Makina: It’s Chris’mas! The most romantic day of the year! A paradise for couples! The day where the French and German armies have wild orgies insteada fightin’, ‘cause on Christmas love overcomes even th’ boundaries of nations and th’ horrors of war!

Makina appears to have heard some kind of telephone version of the famous “Christmas truce” of World War 1, but despite her questionable grasp of the actual events, she seems to have picked up on the Christian propaganda surrounding the occasion without much lost in translation.

Makina leans in again.

Makina: And yet, poor Chiruchiru’s still an unplucked flower, wiltin’ and rottin’ away without anyone t’ share such a wonderful day with!

Makina: In other words, onii-chan, Chiruchiru’s desperate and needs to get a date.

Makina, it would seem, is taking the opportunity for a little payback on Michiru for foisting the responsibility of distracting me onto her, and has come up with a scenario that paints her companion in a less than charitable light. 

Yuuji: What does that have to do with me, exactly? If you’re hoping I have an attractive friend who likes bottle-blonds, I’m afraid life isn’t quite that convenient.

Makina pouts a little.

Makina: Aww, c’mon, onii-chan, can’tcha do ya poor classmate a favour and toss her a pity fuck or two? What’s it gonna cost you, huh? Don’tcha like sex?

Yuuji: Listen, you…

Makina: Fiiiine.. In that case, we gotta hit the town!

Yuuji: The town…?

Makina frowns and throws her hands up in the air in apparent agitation.

Makina: C’mon, haven’t you ever watched TV?! Obviously, when you’re alla ‘lone on Christmas, you wander the streets with yer hands in yer pockets and look wistfully at Christmas trees ‘n the like! We just gotta go find the Christmas tree in town ‘n keep an eye out for lonely hotties, then snag ‘em for Chiruchiru!

Yuuji: Do you even know what kind of guy Michiru is looking for? How are you going to tell what kind of man someone is just by watching them mope around the street?

Makina smirks.

Makina: Awful naive of you, onii-chan. We’re not doin’ a marriage meeting, you know? If we find someone good lookin’ enough, Chiruchiru will roll over and go all dere, regardless of what he’s like.

Michiru, my friend, I think you’re being slandered right now…

Yuuji: So why do I have to come along, then? I can’t say I have particularly strong opinions on what guys are hot.

Makina: Cause if you don’t, I’ll go on my own.

Makina: Little ol’ Makina, all alone on th’ streets at Christmas, approachin’ random men. If something happened, do you think you could live with yourself, call-y-ous-ly leavin’ me to do it by myself?

Yuuji: Kuh…

Damn. I got careless. I’d thought that since I knew the plan behind all this, I’d be able to control the conversation easily and see through any ruse Makina came up with. But I let down my guard, and now Makina’s cornered me completely.

Yuuji: Devious little punk…

Makina laughs.

Makina: Let’s go, onii-chan!

* * *

In the end, we spend hours sitting out by the big Christmas in tree watching people pass. It’s not what I would have chosen to do with my time, but I have to admit it’s a somewhat pleasant. I’ve spent a lot of time waiting and watching when on the job, but it’s a different feeling when you’re sitting comfortably and not looking through a sniper scope. There’s a certain satisfaction to just taking a break to sit and watch the world pass by as you relax, and people watching in a busy area is a good way to do it.

Despite Makina’s predictions, we don’t see any hot young men scuffing the dirt with their feet as they stare up at the lights, their hands shoved in their pockets and an expression of romantic angst on their face. In fact, guys of the age that it would be appropriate to drag back to Michiru are in short supply. As usual, the majority of people in the shopping district are the elderly and children, and neither of those seem like particular likely prospects for turning Michiru “dere”.

Finally, it seems that Makina has received the signal from Amane that it’s no longer necessary to occupy me any longer.

Makina: Screw this! I’m bored!

She declares this brazenly mere moments after checking her phone, which had rather unsubtly vibrated just prior to her picking it up. Just how stupid do these people think I am, exactly..?

Yuuji: Oh? Is that so? This was your idea, punk.

Makina: What, so that means I gotta stick to it past th’ point of failure?! That kind of rigid thinkin’ is the problem with this country! If somethin’ isn’t working, you gotta be ready to drop it and move on to the next big thing! If we keep clingin’ to the past just cause our predecessor decided on it, America’s gonna leave us behind in the tech world, and where’s our economy gonna go then, huh?!

Yuuji: I don’t think this has anything to do with S*ny’s market share…

Makina: It’s got everythin’ to do with it! We gotta be able to face up to reality ‘n change course when we’re about to run aground! Pretending everythin’ fine when it ain’t won’t change the markets, no matter how hard we try!

Makina: In conclusion: we blew it, onii-chan! Michiru’s just gonna hafta take care of herself, like she has every other Christmas.

Yuuji: You don’t sound too broken up over it.

Makina: Ehhh.

Makina shrugs and stands to leave.

Makina: C’mon, let’s go back. Amanee’s probably finished cookin’ by now, and I’m gettin’ mighty hungry.

I have to admit, the idea of dinner doesn’t sound too bad to me either. I can survive without food for days if I have to, but even the most well trained human body prefers to eat when it’s hungry and keep a reasonable schedule of meals.

Yuuji: Fine…

* * *

When I get back to the dorm, the lobby is empty. That by itself isn’t unusual, but agents who last long enough at Ichigaya to get a number quickly learn that there’s different kinds of empty. A room can simply lack people, but if it’s “abandoned”, then there’s usually a reason.

In this case, though, it’s not much of a concern. After all, I’m fully aware of the reason for the suspicious emptiness in the dorm. The normal inhabitants are lying in wait in my room, ready to wish me a Merry Christmas.

Pretending to play along, I turn to Makina.

Yuuji: Well, have fun breaking the news to Michiru. I’m going to go back to my room.

Makina: Geh… I was kinda hopin’ that you might let her know…

Yuuji: No.

Makina: Yer heartless, onii-chan!

Yuuji: You’re not the first woman to tell me that.

I reach out to the doorknob and twist it, pushing open the door casually.

Amane/Sachi/Yumiko/Michiru: Happy birthday, Yuuji!/Happy birthday, Kazami-kun!/Happy birthday, Kazami-kun./I-It’s not like I want you to have a happy birthday or anything!

I pause, startled.

Sure enough, the room is decked out not with the Christmas or “Welcome to Mihama Academy” decorations I’d expected, but birthday themed ones, with a big banner saying “Happy Birthday Yuuji!” taking pride of place.

Yuuji: What?

I turn to look at Amane, and she winks and pokes out her tongue in a mock apologetic fashion.

Amane: Ehehe…

...Damn.

Yuuji: …How did you know?

Amane: Well… Principal Tachibana miiiiight have mentioned something about your birthday coming up...

Yuuji: …Chizuru, what the hell kind of info are you letting slip…?

Apparently, my school files aren’t as sealed as I might like, despite the gag orders Chizuru is no doubt under regarding the more “sensitive” details of my personal record. And certain older women with baby faces are out there revealing things that are better left quiet.

Makina: Don’t worry about it!

Makina comes up behind me, grinning.

Makina: The important part is it’s your birthday! Happy birthday, onii-chan!

Yuuji: Hrm…

Can’t say I’ve done much celebrating on my birthday in recent years. Still, men are, by nature, fairly simple beings. Whatever feelings I might have about the day, I can’t help but feel slightly happy at being celebrated like this.

Yuuji: ...Can’t believe I fell for that “welcoming party” line…

Honestly. Here I was thinking I had the upper hand on this whole conspiracy, and Amane had me dancing on her strings the whole time… If Asako was here now, she’d be laughing her head off.

Yuuji: Fine, you got me.

Yumiko: “Got” you? There’s no need to be so melodramatic. It’s a celebration. You needn’t act like you’re being marched to death row.

Yuuji: …

I consider challenging her with a question of “how do you know I don’t hate my birthday?” but I suspect that, actually, that was something Amane checked with Chizuru. Everyone’s here for a reason. Since anyone asking about my reasons would be inconvenient, I avoided asking about anyone else’s at first out of pragmatism, but as time went on I noticed it was a “courtesy” extended to everyone here by everyone else, a silent agreement not to pry. If Amane found out my birthday from Chizuru she probably would have asked if it was okay to celebrate. And since Chizuru knows why everyone is here…

Yuuji: Alright, alright. Thanks.

Yumiko: That’s a better attitude.

Makina: Onii-chan, c’mon, are you gonna sit in the doorway all day? It’s dinner time!

Makina, impatient with my hesitant reaction, scowls behind me.

Yuuji: I’m simply overcome by emotion at the kindness of my classmates. I might burst into tears any second now.

I’m suddenly pierced by multiple pairs of eyes as my classmates glare sceptically at me.

Yuuji: … Pretty sure I’ve said this already, but sta-

Yumiko: “Staring won’t get me off”, right? It’s a bad enough joke in the first place, but using it this many times is just tacky.

Yuuji: ...hrm.

Come to think of it, this would be the third time I’m breaking out that particular ice breaker. Guess it’s outlived its welcome. Sorry, old friend, but it’s time for you to accept your watch and clean out your desk.

Amane: If you’re about to burst into tears, it certainly doesn’t show on your face.

Yuuji: I like to keep a stiff upper lip. You know how it is.

Amane: Are you British now…?

Makina: <‘Ello guvna!>

Where Makina picked up that particular line, I’m not sure, but her pronunciation would be enough to make even the most stoic Englishman wince.

* * *

The food Amane has prepared, is, unsurprisingly, chicken. While it doesn’t bear much resemblance to the famous Christmas KFC that never fails to amuse the Americans, it’s as well made as everything else Amane produces.

As we eat, Michiru pipes up.

Michiru: So were you really born on Christmas?

Yuuji: So I’m told. I can’t say I remember the event myself.

Amane: Uh, it would be pretty strange if you did…

Michiru: What the heck? How did such an unromantic guy like you end up with such a romantic birthday?!

Yuuji: Oh, that reminds me, Michiru.

Michiru: E-Eh? Of what?

Yuuji: Something to do with romance. And you.

Michiru flushes a deep red.

Michiru: W-Wait, what?

Yuuji: I have something to tell you.

Michiru: H-Here?! Now?!

Yuuji: Yes.

Michiru: W-Wait! I’m not ready, my- my heart isn’t prepared for thi-

Yuuji: Makina’s plan to snag you a guy failed. Terribly sorry.

Michiru: Oh, Yuuji! I lo- eh? What?

Yuuji: Makina’s plan. To find you someone on Christmas. That’s what she wanted to talk to me about. Sad to say, we couldn’t find any eligible, lonely looking young men. Guess you’re on your own.

For a moment, Michiru’s mouth flaps open uselessly, no sound coming out of it. The girl resembles nothing so much as a goldfish.

Eventually, she regains her ability to speak.

Michiru: Makina! What the hell have you been doing?!

Content with my little piece of payback on Makina, I return to my meal.

Makina: Chill out, Chiruchiru. It’s true that you’re alone, ain’tcha?

Michiru: Mukiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

It really is good chicken.

* * *

After dinner, of course, there’s the cake. Once everyone finished their slice, Amane clears her throat and glances around, gathering the attention of the others.

Amane: There’s one more thing, actually.

Yuuji: Hm? Oh, did you hire a stripper?

Yumiko: Where do you imagine we would have been hiding her all the time…?

Yuuji: Hm. Makina’s room, maybe?

Michiru: Eh? Why Makina?

Yuuji: Well, it’s not like she really uses it much, right…?

Amane: _No_ , we didn’t hire a stripper.

Amane steers things back on track quickly before the diversion can go too far. She reaches into a box nearby and pulls out a smaller box, wrapped in colourful paper with a bow.

Amane: Happy birthday, Yuuji!

She hands the box to me. Slightly dumbfounded, I remove the wrapping paper and open the box. Inside, on a layer of cotton, is a scope. But not just any scope. It’s clear at a glance that this is the new zoom technology from the states, Uncle Sam’s latest foray into using laser cut lenses to achieve high accuracy magnification on a small scale.

Yuuji: How…?

Sachi: I overheard you mention that you were interested in a new scope from America. After some research into the subject, I found that this model was the most likely one for someone overseas to know about and have any interest in.

Yumiko: Honestly, when Sachi came to me with this information, I almost thought it might just be better to buy you a porn magazine or something…

Yuuji: I’m glad you didn’t.

Seriously, getting a porn magazine from Sakaki would be a little _too_ mixed of a message.

Sachi: Sakaki-san… to think that your porn addiction would go so far as to compel you to recruit others…

Yumiko: W-What?

Amane sighs.

Amane: What are you, a kid who can’t think of anything to get their dad except what _they_ want?

Yumiko: That isn’t what I meant! I just thought that since Kazami-kun is a guy…

Makina: Ohoho? But I don’t think onii-chan’s looked at a porn mag since he came to this school, unless he’s real good at hidin’ em, and little miss Yumiko goes searchin’ the whole web t’ find new perversions every night!

Yuuji: Oh ho? Didn’t realize you were such a connoisseur. Maybe a porn mag from you would open some new horizons for me…

As Sakaki closes her eyes in fury, I hear the telltale clicking of her box cutter.

Yuuji: Alright, you four, settle down.

Makina: Fine, fine…

Michiru: Eh? I didn’t even get a chance to say anything!

Yumiko: Oh? Was there something you wanted to add, Matsushima-san?!

Michiru: No! Very sorry about that!

Michiru’s voice is more like a squeak as Yumiko whirls on her in rage.

Amane: Ah, hey, stop changing the subject! Do you like it?

Yuuji: Yeah. It’s pretty great. Thanks.

Honestly… it’s amazing. I probably don’t even want to know how Sakaki and Sachi managed to figure out what scope I even meant, let alone actually get their hands on something like this. And going to that kind of effort to get a gift for someone like me… well, anyone would be a little happy about something like that.

Michiru: … You don’t look that thankful.

Sachi: Really? It looks to me like Kazami-kun has gotten quite emotional.

Yuuji: Hrm…

Seems Sachi’s getting pretty good at reading my expressions.

Yuuji: You’re right. I’m pretty deeply touched. I might tear up.

Amane: Uwah… I don’t think I can even imagine that…

Makina: Uhhh, yeah. Onii-chan cryin’ over a gift… doesn’t seem possible, y’know? Kinda like a robot chef throwin’ off its hat and saying it’s goin’ to go start a fam’ly.

Yuuji: What the hell kind of impression of me do you people have...?

This school isn’t normal. I knew that when I joined. It’s a dumping ground, a convenient container for a bunch of broken humans that no one can bring themselves to completely throw away. It’s a hands off approach to kids that are such a big problem that they can’t be trusted to be put into a normal school. But in this bin of rejects, I feel like maybe I’ve found some real friends.

So maybe I’ve run into a little bit of Christmas miracle after all.


End file.
